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"But the worst was when Rich criticized my mother' cooking, and he didn't even know what he had done. As in the Chinese cook's custom, my mother always made disparaging remarks about her own cooking. That night she chose to direct it toward her famous steamed pork and preserved vegetable dish, which she always served with pride. 'Ai! this dish not salty enough, no flavor,' she complained, after tasting one small bite. 'It is too bad to eat.' This was our family's cue to eat some and proclaim it the best she had ever made. But before we could do so, Rich said, 'You know, all it needs is a little soy sauce.' And he proceeded to pour riverfuls of the salty black stuff on the platter, right before my mother's horrified eyes."

Rich, you're toast.